Rememberence of My Dearest Katie

Katie,
I went over to your house for the first time tonight since your passing. This time I did not get to see you flying down the stairs to meet me at the door and say hi as you usually would. As soon as I walked in the door I was greeted with long hugs from your mom and dad. They proceeded to show me just some of the pictures and stuff they were gunna bring along to your funeral that they had set up in the mud room already. As soon as I saw the beautiful picture of you sitting by the water in California I started to cry, I hadnt seen that picture before now and you just looked so pretty! They also had a picture blown up of you sleeping in bed when you were little, and written below said "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, and if I die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take." Then I saw the pictures of you and Caitlin your mom had made, she said the two of you looked like princesses, and that you were. The way you both loved pink, and from anyone whose been in your room they'd know it! lol Then I saw a soccer picture of you your parents had blown up of you holding a flower, it was just so sweet I started to cry again. Once I wiped my tears I made my way into the kitchen to see your cousins the Stacys going through pictures of you, as well as Luke, Andy and Carley Janssen and Raina. I went over and gave Raina a big hug right away cause I missed her and I know shes been taking this super hard the past couple days, you had such a wonderful best friend that girl is such a doll I love her. She told me right away to stop crying, that we just need to focus on the good things.
Then we started telling stories about how you always called Raina the whitest mexican youve ever seen and Raina would laugh, taking no offense lol which made my mom think of the time you brought Paige along to go visit your grandmas aparment, and my mom and your mom and you were in side the room and for some reason Paige was still down in the parking lot and when she tryed to call your room to have you buzz her in you wouldnt let her right away until she told you that you better let her in cause there was a bunch of mexicans downstairs looking at her, so you let her in laughing knowing maybe she shouldnt have said out loud but thats how you girls were always so loud and outspoken and always joking around with each other, everything you did was always in good fun lol. We then told your mom that she needed to talk to Jodie real soon and ask her about a story about you that needs to be told that I know you didnt want your mom to know ;) but I think she'll laugh about it now when she finds out. Later I looked into your living room and saw 10 huge boards full of pictures of you. Your mom said the school told them they could only bring three boards, but because you are just so photogenic and have soo many memories to share, 3 would not cut it lol And Im sure you would agree. These boards of pictures show your life in a fun and uplifting way, they cover everything from childhood to sports to dances to friends to trips you've been on. A perfect way to showcase your wonderful life. Next me and Carley went upstairs to see your room. First thing I saw when I walked in your room was your red sparkly dress. I remember I came over a couple days after you bought that dress and I remember telling you I just loved it so much, and you were nice enough to let me wear it to my senior prom. I got so many compliments,  but then when you wore it the next year to homecoming and I saw it on you, I could tell that dress was meant for you. You were so gorgeous and stunning in it!

 

I loved this photo of you and Andrew, you too were so cute together, and I know he really loves you so much! I remember the first time I ever met Andrew was at your brothers graduation party, we were standing in a circle talking with family and friends, and out loud I just asked you if he was your cousin. You corrected me right away assuring me that he was Not your cousin and that he was your boyfriend lol Then after that it just turned into an inside joke for the two of us always. 

Looking around at the rest of your room I saw on your bed your mom had layed out all your favorite things including pictures, your seventeen magazines, your life jacket, soccer hat, your Coach purse, keys, your piggly wiggly shirt and hat, your soccer ball, things from your bible study, the pretty coral colored scarf you bought in New York and so much more. On your floor lay the picture quilt you made in sewing, it was so cute and next to it lay your cowboy boots and hat and your country dance game for the wii which I remember playing at your house the last time I saw you. Then lay your blue and gold pom poms, made me think of all the times we would just play in your living room and make up cheers to perform for our parents, and Sunday at the candle light visual at school when it was soo cold out, my mom and I both told your mom, it reminded us of how you always used to chant "Burr its cold in here, there must be something in the atmosphere!" lol and it made me laugh. Your mom showed us your huge collection of nail polish you had out, and that you girls were painting your nails that night before you left. So many good memories in that room, and just by looking at all the pictures all over your door and walls you could tell you had soo many friends and that you just adored all of them as they adored you. Before we left and said our goodbyes for the night Luke played us all a song on his laptop that Rainas boyfriend John wrote and sang for you. It was the most precious heartfelt song ever, brought tears to my eyes, I hope more people get to hear it, I think they said its on youtube but it was just beautiful. I gave hugs to your family and we left. I was tearing up on the way home just thinking how emotional the next two days are going to be, but we'll make it through it, we have the strongest community there is, we are so lucky to come from little ol Campbellsport where the love for our school is as big as the hearts of the kids who go or have went there. We are truly blessed, and so many other schools and people from all around are showing there support for your families its incredible I know you must be so proud of the way you bring people together.

Katie you were such a wonderful girl with a magical spirit anyone that knew you would probably agree with me.  Friday when I see you at your church you'll be in your beautiful prom dress that you loved so much and couldnt wait to wear, and now you can dance in it forever. Its gunna be hard seeing you that day, watching your family as they put you to rest knowing that there never going to be able to see there baby girl out on that boat in the summer any more or swimming and tanning by your pool, or watch you make prom court knowing you and Caitlin would of for sure because you were loved that much, never seeing you graduate or go to college or get married and have kids of your own someday.

But we just have to remember all the milestones you have hit throughout your short time here on earth and those were the ones that counted after all its the time in between birth and death, its that little dash between 4/13/95- 2/4/12 that represents all the time you spent on earth, and now only those who loved you know what that little line is worth and how you lived life to the fullest and knowing that you are in true paradise with God right now and that someday we will see you again. And so when I see you Friday, its not goodbye, just see you later.